I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
