Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
