I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
