I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
