I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
