xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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