Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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