remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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