I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
