he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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