Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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