I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
