So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
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Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.