I just made out with a guy for $7.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.