don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
