in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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