What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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