I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
