I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
