youre lurking in front of me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
