I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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