I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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