Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
