My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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