I'm laying in your front yard are you home
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm bleeding and have questions
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
