careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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