All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
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HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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