that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
