Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
