Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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