I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
A+ Viking dick
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize