kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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