Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
