people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
