it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
