yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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