Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
