tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
