She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
