Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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