How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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