Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He keeps bees of course he's weird
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
