i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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