Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
