Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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