Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
