hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
