Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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