I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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