I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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