i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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