I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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