i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
