I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
