So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
