8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize