Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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