yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
