So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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