Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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