none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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