I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
