Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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