oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
